Together, We Light the Way

Remembering My Goal

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Yesterday was a beautiful day. I was enjoying the perfect weather as I drove along the highway to see my next customer. I had been sharing texts with my daughters about what was going on in our lives and was thinking how much I wished I could enjoy this beautiful weather with them in person. We could hang out in the sun and talk. If only we didn’t have to work.

Suddenly I realized that my mood had plummeted. I started to try to push the mood aside and get back to feeling good but then let myself explore it first. I was surprised that when I allowed the mood rather than trying to push it down that it was so strong. I felt like crying. I had a tightness in my chest and my stomach clenched.

I used The Work by Byron Katie to get some clarity on this because I was having trouble seeing it differently. I asked the four questions and did the turnaround. It looked like this.

I think I should not have to work.

Is that true?

It feels like it is true. But maybe not.

Can you absolutely know it is true?

No.

How do you feel when you believe that you should not work and you are working?

I feel sad enough to cry. I have a lump in my throat and a weight on my chest. My stomach clenches. I feel unhappy.

How do you feel when you are working and you don’t believe that thought?

I feel happy and satisfied with the day. My mind is open to possibilities.

Turn it around and give three valid reasons why it is true.

I should have to work.

1.  I want to earn a living.

2.  I like making money.

3.  I enjoy my customers and often enjoy my job. It is not often boring.

Then I did the same thing with the statement, “I would be happy if only I didn’t have to work. As I got more clarity and more detachment from these thoughts and my feelings I asked Holy Spirit to help me look at this differently. The question that came into my mind was, “What is your purpose? What is your goal?”

Is it my goal to win the lottery and quit work? Is it my goal to spend time with my girls? Is it my goal to have more free time? Is it my goal to write, to teach, to preach?

As I considered these goals, which I obviously have, I remembered that I have a goal, a purpose and that is to wake up. It is my purpose to do my part to help awaken the Sonship. In order for it to be effective it must be a single undivided goal; my only goal. I cannot awaken with one foot in the world. It is all of these small goals (which may seem inconsequential) that are distracting me and taking the place of my true purpose.

All of those petty goals pale in the light of my true purpose. As I realized this I felt the weight lift from my chest. I could breathe again. Then I remembered that I am awakening. In NTI 1 Corinthians, the Holy Spirit assures us that if we are reading this book (and by extension doing these lessons) then I am in the process of awakening. I said it aloud. “I am waking up!”

The words put a smile on my face and opened my heart to joy. All of the other feelings (I could barely bring them to mind by now) faded away completely and I spent the rest of the day happy and at peace.

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I Was Just Thinking

I think that whatever appears in my life that is not adding to the Kingdom is something to heal. It doesn’t matter where it comes from. It might be the result of the little private hell that I call Myron’s mind. For instance, perhaps I had been thinking about my daughter’s life and thinking she should be living it differently if she wants to be happy. These are thoughts that Myron is thinking and these thoughts are not true in spite of appearances. Holding onto these thoughts keep me in hell.

I think that there are thoughts which do not necessarily originate in the story of Myron, but are simply thoughts held in the one mind that are not true and need to be healed. If these thoughts pop up in my mind or the effects appear in my life then it is because I can heal them. In other words salvation isn’t personal. It doesn’t matter who is holding the error thoughts, the one who is most able to heal them has that opportunity.

If I see that someone is living as if they are separate from God in a way that I no longer do , then I think it has come to my attention because I can forgive that thought in the mind. This way of looking at it has made it easier for me to understand that I do not stand alone in anything. I am always part of the Sonship and all I think say and do affects the Sonship. I am always 100% responsible.

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Letting Go of a Cherished Grievance

I read this from the lesson: Let me realize today that the problem is always some form of grievance that I would cherish. Let me also understand that the solution is always a miracle with which I let the grievance be replaced.

I thought about something that happened yesterday. I was driving along minding my own business when suddenly, and with no warning, I attacked my peace with a memory of something I did a long time ago that causes me shame and embarrassment even today. This is not the first time this has happened, even with this same thought.

My first reaction is always to put the memory aside so I don’t have to think about it. But for some years now I have stopped myself from doing that, and have looked at it with the Holy Spirit, asking that I be healed. Each time I thought it was done, that I no longer would feel shame when that memory arose. When it rose in my mind yesterday and I felt those same regrets I couldn’t believe it. I asked Holy Spirit just how long it was going to take to be through with this, and why couldn’t I let it go. It wasn’t even something important, but rather a petty reaction to some insignificant moment in my life, and yet every time I thought of it I felt shamed. What’s the deal, Holy Spirit?

Here (more or less) is what came into my mind.
 
I cannot let this go. It must be unforgivable.

Ha ha ha. That’s ridiculous. It wasn’t even all that important.

It happened. You did it and you can’t take it back. You are guilty. You will always be guilty. There is no forgiveness for this. That is why you cannot let it go.

Holding onto this guilty thought is keeping me from waking up.

Oh, my God. Thank you for showing me that. I don’t want this guilt. I want to wake up.

Holy Spirit: Now you see what the ego was really saying to you. You didn’t acknowledge this message before because it frightened you too much. The reason it frightened you is because you believed it. So you hid the message from yourself, but you could not hide the effect of the fear. The fear that your error was unforgivable kept you from truly looking at it with Me and thus kept it in your mind, where it periodically jumped up to terrorize you. This time, Myron, you truly wanted this clarity and so it was yours.

Me: Holy Spirit, thank you so much. My gratitude is so big I can barely contain it.

I would like to share with you the guilty memory that I allowed to hold me hostage for so long, but I cannot even remember what it was. It is a miracle.

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By Rev. Myron Jones

Most recent entries

• Remembering My Goal
• I Was Just Thinking
• Letting Go of a Cherished Grievance
• Losing Weight
• It’s Perfect
• Thoughts on Relationships
• The Cripple Creek Adventure
• Look on All You See and Love
• Defensiveness is War
• I am Essential to the Plan for the Salvation of the World
• Transitioning from San Francisco to My “Ordinary” Life
• A Christmas Story
• NTI Matthew 16 Peter as Symbol of Faith
• Accepting with Enthusiasm
• Fear is Just a Story

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