Inspiration for Healing Through Changing Your Mind --The articles in this newsletter are written by people from around the world who are taking their perceived problems to the Holy Spirit, and sharing their miracles stories of how their thoughts are being healed.

Healing the Trap of Guilt --by Cheryl Gossette

Eight years ago my seventeen year old nephew died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. And for eight years everyone in our family has been suffering. He was my sister's only child. It has been horrible to see what his death has done to her. It has been horrible to see what his death has done to my mother. We all felt so helpless. Not only did my sister lose her child but in many ways my mother has lost one of her children also. My sister has kept everyone at arm's length since his death. And even though she has married a wonderful man with three little boys, all is not well.

I live across the country from my family and I visited them this year at Thanksgiving. During a family get together, it was obvious that my sister was present in body only. She seemed far, far away and very sad. Usually she can put on a good face and pretend for awhile. When she and her family were leaving, I was saying good-bye out on the porch. When she hugged me she began to sob. I whispered that I would call her later.

When I called her that evening, I asked her to go to lunch with me the next day. Much to my surprise, she agreed. I had no idea what to say to her, but I knew Who to ask. I was right in the middle of a Pathways of Light course entitled The Transforming Power of Trust. Before I went to sleep, I asked the Holy Spirit to tell me what to say to my sister and to show me what I needed to know to help her. So I went to lunch trusting that I was being guided. Her despair and depression were profound. My usual suggestions that she seek grief counseling met with the same negative response as always. And her hostility toward God was intense.

She denied His existence. As I looked at my sister, I suddenly saw myself sitting there being crushed under the weight of unrelenting guilt. I knew she felt guilty about her son's death, but never had I seen the weight of it so clearly. In her dilemma, I saw my own so long ago. Now along with her devastating grief, I also saw the horrible trap of guilt that she was caught in. Grief eventually allows you to slowly move forward. Guilt holds you forever in that awful moment of accusation.

For I too, was without my child, but under far different circumstances. I had chosen abortion and for years was tormented by unmerciful guilt. I too feared and hated God and denied His existence. It was my only defense. But somewhere in me there was still a spark of hope. I see now that my guilt was the beginning of a spiritual journey that has brought me to a place I never imagined possible. God does work in mysterious ways. And He uses everything we have made to bring us back to Him. He calls incessantly and equally to all of us.

That night, as I was drifting off to sleep, I knew that my sister was in safe Hands. Because there is a spark in her too. And nothing can put it out. I envisioned myself gently blowing on that spark and very clearly heard a Voice say to me, "I'll blow on it with you." The next day when I arrived home, I opened my mail and there was and 8-1/2 by 11 inch laminated poster from Pathways that simply said: " You cannot resist the pull to remember God." That's one thing I know to be true.

Translating Turmoil to Truth --by Rev. Therese Anne Ward

It was just going to be a weekend fishing trip; ten guys off to Norris Lake in hopes of catching 15-20 lb. striped bass. My husband had gone on fishing and hunting trips in the past without incident. In fact I experienced some sense of relief; a space in our togetherness. The kids and I would now have a welcome change in our daily schedule. But this upcoming trip was different for me. This time the kids were gone, out on their own. This time I was experiencing anxiety about my husband going away.

It didn't make sense, this fear and anger that arose in me. I asked all kinds of questions: "Where are you going? Who are you going with? Do you have to go? When are you leaving? When are you coming back? Why must you go?" I even decided that I didn't like some of the men he was going with. Also, it wasn't a good time of the year to go; too cold. I was just consumed with resistance to the idea of my husband going on this fishing trip. Then, in an instant, I stopped and said to myself: "Wait a minute, where is all this coming from?" I was stepping into my observer self. Mentally, I took two steps back and watched myself in the scene as it was playing out. It was truly bizarre as I watched; I had thoughts and felt feelings with seemingly no foundation and no connection to the moment. I saw that I was in such a state that all was progressively deteriorating.

I decided to take myself to a nearby park for a walk around the lake, to move this energy out of my body. Driving there I said, "Holy Spirit, translate this to truth for me." I know by now that when I am this upset, I must be into some serious 'mistaken thinking,' even if I'm not clear about what it is yet. Upon arriving, I discovered that I had the lake to myself, just me and the ducks, frogs and birds. I set my stride on the half mile blacktop path that circles the lake. "Holy Spirit, translate this to truth for me,"

I prayed. Then I focused on the clear blue sky, the flowing green willows, the soft ripples that the brown ducks were making in the water and noticed the one white duck paired with a brown one on the bank. Indeed the ducks did maneuver about in pairs. It was a glorious morning and I was just now noticing it, with gratitude. I had walked halfway around the lake when a crystal clear thought entered my mind: "Men should not leave their wives and go on vacation without them." At that moment I knew that I had made a 'personal law' for myself as a very young child. Not that I remembered any specific incident, but I did remember how it had been my father's practice to leave my mother at home and go on vacations without her. I never knew my mother to have a vacation, yet my father went every year, mostly accompanying his sister, while my mother was left behind.

It was clear to me now where my anger, and anxiety were coming from. My heretofore unconscious 'personal law' was being violated. This fishing trip was a vacation and I was being left behind. Husbands shouldn't take vacations and leave their wives behind. Holy Spirit had brought it to light for me as I had asked. Now I could release that 'personal law,' choose again, change my thinking and redirect my energy. I was delighted with my discovery and recovery of that particular wounding. Gratitude for life, for my husband and for the gift of the Holy Spirit filled me.

I am experiencing that the Holy Spirit is the Comforter because Holy Spirit knows Truth and takes our painful dramas and somehow transforms them to the peace of Truth, when we ask. This change in me from turmoil to truth was a miracle wrought by the Holy Spirit within me and everyone. To some this may seem trivial, but to me it was a miracle of healing and I am grateful.

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Journaling with Spirit --by Rev. Bob Slawson

My Prayer: I am not at peace. I want to make changes in my life so that being at peace is normal and natural. I want to be peaceful all the time. Please help me to reach this place.

Response: As the Son of God, peacefulness is your natural state. You have to exert great effort to avoid peace, and you do. Your job is not so much what you must do to obtain peace, but rather, you need to refrain from not allowing peace in your experience. You have trained your mind to look for conflict. You have spent eons practicing separation. You have taught yourself that specialness is a virtue. Individuality and uniqueness were qualities to be developed and cherished. You have allowed the ego full control as your teacher.

The ego and peace cannot coexist. The ego has taught you that bodily 'pleasures' are more important than peace, or even that they are peace. The ego has taught you that 'love' making is love. You have learned that sacrifice is positive, and pain and suffering is inevitable. 'No pain no gain' has become your mantra. All of these lessons you have been learning and practicing for thousands of years. You have so identified yourself as a body that is different from all other bodies, that you don't remember Who you are. And of course you don't remember Who your brother is either.

I am not telling you anything you do not know already. What you are asking is how to do it. You know that as well. You are learning now. Your willingness is growing, although it still lacks consistency. Your awareness has improved but needs to be sharpened. Your patience is almost nonexistent. Discipline is called for. If you want what is your due, you must undo your learning, retrain your mind and follow my lead. You say that you wish to be in a state of peace at all times. That is possible and also inevitable. To reach that level of peace and maintain it requires making a decision to commit to giving your life to God. By that I mean listening only to the Voice for God.

Every thought you have is a choice -- either a choice for God or the ego. At first, choosing the Voice for God will appear to be very difficult or even impossible. You will often forget, and when you forget you will be choosing ego. That is nothing to be ashamed of, and guilt is not called for. Guilt is never called for! As you practice choosing God, it will become easier and appear more natural. For now you must make conscious choices. In time choosing God will be automatic. It is your natural state. Your will is the Will of God. You know that now. You will experience it. Ask to hear, listen and receive. Know that within you is the Power of God Almighty.

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A Parking Lot Miracle --by Kathleen Schmidt

I had just completed grocery shopping and loading my bags into the trunk of the car. I looked around for a cart lane. Not seeing one, I decided to just leave the shopping cart next to the cars. Then I turned around and headed to my driver's side. That's when I saw her. A scowling, gray-haired woman sat in the passenger seat of the vehicle parked next to me. She glared, raised her arm defiantly and pointed to the cart I had just left. Ouch - Caught in the act! "Oh, so what?" I said to myself. "No big deal! I didn't touch her car. What's she so crabby about anyway?" The seeds of anger had been planted in me and thoughts of retaliation arose.

I opened my car, dropped into the driver's seat, and slammed the door shut. As I put the keys into the ignition, a line from A Course in Miracles came to mind. "I could see peace instead of this!" Whoa! I invited the thought to stay. Within seconds, a calming wave swept over me. The woman in that next car is not bad, I acknowledged... And neither was I. Sure, I had probably felt a little guilty because of my thoughtless decision to leave the cart where it could have caused some damage. It wasn't my best choice. When I saw my mistake reflected back to me through the angry woman, I felt defensive and wanted to lash out at her. But in the holy instant that followed, I remembered that I could see the situation differently. I could forgive her and myself.

Perhaps this woman had overreacted to my negligence. But how was I to know what was going on in her life that may have contributed to her sensitivity that morning? Certainly I have such moments myself. I felt my face softening, my shoulders relaxed. I got out of my car and walked toward the shopping cart. I steered it carefully to a safe designated space in front of the store. Yes, it was farther away. But that seemed a small price to pay for my serenity. Those extra steps were like a kind word or a pat on the back, her back and mine. I returned to my car, noting out of the corner of my eye, the gray-haired woman's calm, peaceful demeanor.

I pulled out of the lot, and realized, with relief, that during this brief experience, I had not beat up on myself, but instead recognized my innocence. The Course states that we are always either expressing love or calling out for love and therefore our only appropriate response to someone is gratitude. So, my only appropriate response to my innocent sister was gratitude. Yes, I was grateful for the simple, yet profound lesson the stranger presented me that day. I do always have a choice as to how I will respond in any instance. If my first response is not the best, I can simply "choose again." When I am tempted to be defensive, I can, instead, be kind and gentle with others and with myself. It is in such tiny moments of loving choice that I can help change my world.

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In A Course in Miracles I am told again and again that only oneness in the Mind of Universal Love is real. This means that there really are no separate bodies. There really are no differences. The separation I see could never be real. It is all a delusion, a dream of being separate from Universal Love. In the Mind of God where we all reside, All is given to All equally. All of God's Children receive and are all of Heaven.

The world I see in daily life seems quite different. Bodies seem quite real. Time seems quite real. Differences, uniqueness and conflict all seem quite real. I am learning how important it is to practice recognizing when I am joining with the ego and reinforcing illusions of separation. I know that every moment, I am either supporting separation or supporting oneness -- one or the other. "You will not make decisions by yourself whatever you decide. For they are made with idols or with God. And you ask help of anti-Christ or Christ, and which you choose will join with you and tell you what to do." (T-30.I.14:7-9)

How do I live in this world without reinforcing separation? If I take an honest look at how I spend 'time' here, I see that I am still making the world quite real much of the time. I am recognizing that this is the same as being dedicated to illusions. I look out through the body's eyes and see 'proof of separation' every day. Bodies seem quite real. Time and space seem quite real. Vulnerability and lack seem quite real. As I continue to study ACIM and practice the daily lessons, it is sinking in that only my thoughts create my experience. It is sinking in that the world of separation is the opposite of God's Universal loving Oneness.

It is becoming clear that my most important job is to be consistent in the habit of stepping back and allowing my upside down thoughts to be healed by the Holy Spirit. "With this link with God, perception will become so changed and purified that it will lead to knowledge." (W-43.1:5)

The Course is teaching me to be aware when I am joining with the ego. I do this by asking myself, "In this moment, am I thinking I can make decisions on my own? In this moment, am I thinking that any of my thoughts mean anything? In this moment, am I separating myself from my brother or from God?" Consistently asking myself these questions helps keep me from being a 'know it all.' These questions help me step back and remember that I do not know, but I do have a constant Companion within that does know.

If I really mean that I am willing to let go and let God, I must recognize what is going on in my mind. I must recognize that I am making a decision with every thought I hold on to and believe is true. The healing of my mind happens in the now, not the past or future. I say to myself, "Right now, am I joining with the thought system of the ego or am I joining with the Holy Spirit? Right now, do I think I am a separate person with personal goals or am I coming from a place of remembering that I am Eternal Spirit, Who shares one Self with all? Right now, am I extending the peace of remembering union or thinking I am different from God and my brothers?" I am always choosing in the present moment.

An important part of mindfulness is not to blame myself when I recognize that I have joined with the ego. Instead, I make a decision to choose once again. I affirm to myself: "Right now, I am willing to see that I have been wrong about Who I am and where I am. Right now I choose to return my mind to including all in the one Identity of God. Right now I choose to see past bodies to the Christ in everyone."

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