Inspiration for Healing Through Changing Your Mind --The articles in this newsletter are written by people from around the world who are taking their perceived problems to the Holy Spirit, and sharing their miracles stories of how their thoughts are being healed.

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Learning How to Fulfill My Function --by Rev. Bob Slawson

I'm in my seventieth year. I have been A Course of Miracles® student since I was sixty two. It was a very long search.

When I was fourteen years old an acquaintance, Denny, myself, and my best friend Dave, were sniffing gasoline in Dave's garage. Dave was more than just my best friend. He was my mentor, my protector, my idol. We got a little high and Dave spilled gasoline all over his clothes.

I won't go into all the details, but my friend Dave was burned to death. It was a horrible and agonizing death. It took him twelve hours to die. I was badly burned myself and I was with him in the ambulance. After my burns were looked after I spent the rest of those twelve hours in the hospital chapel on my knees, praying to God to save him. I made all kinds of bargains with God. I pleaded, I begged. Everything I could think of I did. I prayed to the wrong God.

Dave died! I decided God had failed me. Prayer didn't work. God was a cruel and unforgiving God. I no longer wanted anything to do with God. To hell with Him!

For many years, I did my best (or worst) to keep God out of my life. I built an altar of alcohol and women to worship. Pleasure was my goal and my salvation. I worked very hard to achieve my heaven.
I found no peace. I found no heaven. I found only hell.

I knew on some level that my answer to my unhappiness could be found in God. But how could I give myself to such a cruel God? I tried, but I could not love the God I thought I knew. Many times over the years, I faked an allegiance to God and/or religion. (I thought they were the same.) The peace and Love of God continued to elude me.

In 1989 I entered a treatment center for alcoholism. I found the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. This was my first true step into spirituality. It was wonderful. I finally felt the Love of God. But there was still a large missing piece which I could not identify.

In 1994 I was introduced to ACIM® and was totally blown away. I was introduced to a God of Love and Truth. I was told how to fulfill my function. I was given a Text to study, which is teaching me the truth about myself and my brothers. I was given a Workbook to practice my new found truths. I now know why I am here and what I am to do. It has been a long and bumpy road, but the end, or rather the beginning, is now in sight.

Rev. Bob Slawson is a Pathways of Light minister living in Indianapolis, Indiana. Email: Slawson@pathwaysoflight.org

We Are All in God's One Family --by Rev. Wenona Thomas

When I think of family, there is a fantasy that comes to mind. It is a fantasy filled with potential happiness, completeness, acceptance, and 'love.' It contains snapshots of family outings, three or even four generations standing together, Sunday dinners around the table, and special occasions celebrated together.

I've often heard that when you have no where to go, you'll always have your family. It is as if the blood we share through our bodies links us directly to the ability to love and count on one another in trying times. Blood lines that run through families have no more ability to experience the Love of God than does anything else in this world. God is not experienced through form. His Love pours out from within our minds.

For the past several years, I have been trying to build this fantasy of a family for myself -- a perfect picture of 'love' on earth, the perfect illusion. When I was a child, I was a 'victim' of incest by my mother's brother. (I put victim in quotes because I now know that no one is really a victim.) I hid what happened for many years for fear of tearing the family apart. When I was 17 my grandmother died and I thought it was now an acceptable time to tell my parents what had happened. I was concerned about my own healing and believed I had a responsibility to let my family know what had happened. Of course, my former fears came true. Everyone on my mother's side of the family took sides against me. My mother and father faithfully stood by my side. We sought counseling together for a brief time, but no healing ever came of it.

When I turned 19, I rushed into a marriage with my high school sweetheart. My relationships with all those around me became very unstable. I was grieving and hurting, and so were my parents. My mother especially felt guilty. She felt responsible for what her brother had done to me. And to this day she cannot forgive herself for that. My uncle died when I was 20. He was only 42 years old. I think it shocked my mother. She was growing increasingly unhappy. I had grown up and left the house. There were no other children to tend to.

I introduced her to a man I was working with. He had become a good friend of mine. I knew he would enjoy my mother's company. In fact he loved my mother's company and before I knew it she was divorcing my father. My mother and father both sat down to tell me. I was young, but not so young as to not understand. In fact, I had always wondered why they were together. They seem like an odd couple. They each told me they did not want me to take sides and that each of them wanted me to continue having a relationship with the other. Unfortunately, that was completely contradictory to what they did.

I had been married less than a year. I was adapting to married life, trying to heal my childhood 'trauma,' and going to college. Now I was being asked to be a gopher between my parents. I couldn't handle it.

At this time I went through the ministerial training program at Pathways of Light. It was here I learned about the power of forgiveness. In meditation, I met and talked to my uncle and I was filled with the power of Love. I saw my uncle as a teacher, and I used the circumstances of our relationship to transcend my interpretation of this world. My grievances dissolved and I now see my uncle as a friend and companion on the other side.

When I returned after completing my ministry training, I had no family to come back to. Everyone in my family -- my husband, father and mother had to be kept separate from one another. There was no wholeness within my most intimate relationships. The family dramas escalated. My father was suicidal. My mother accused me of taking sides with my father because my husband and I had decided to move in with him to watch over his unstable state of mind. And my marriage was falling apart.

I really don't know how I got through that year. I held onto what I had learned through Pathways by a string, but it became more and more difficult to deal with. The circumstances in my life brought me great distress.

Less than a year later I was back at Pathways. I lived there for over a year and gained miraculous insights into my life. I heard somewhere that Edna Buchanan said, "Friends are the family you choose for yourself." That is what it was like at Pathways. It was my spiritual family. Everyone there nurtured and supported one another with accepting the peace and joy of God, our true inheritance.

While I was living at Pathways, I decided to divorce my husband. There are several reasons I could give, none of which matter.

Simply, I was learning that unhealthy relationships are not supportive of mind healing, which had become my profession and my utmost priority.

A few months later I embarked upon another relationship with a man who was very much interested in a A Course in Miracles®. We fell in love and after my time at Pathways passed, we decided to move in together. It took a few months for the dust to settle from the move out of my sanctuary at Pathways.

When it did, I found myself very involved in seeking approval from his family. I began to see his family as a way to fulfill my beloved family fantasy again. I felt I missed having a motherly and fatherly figure in my life and I thought if his family could accept me, I could compensate or substitute for my missing family. Unfortunately that was not the case. They were not happy about how their only son had chosen to live his life. They were Catholic and in their mind, we were living in sin. It took me almost a year to learn about how they really felt about me. They were always polite and courteous. During that year I did everything I could to impress them. I sent them handmade gifts. Never forgot a holiday, birthday, or anniversary. But that didn't change how they perceived me.

I was devastated that my family fantasy had fallen apart once again. I grew depressed and ill. I cried for days. I felt all alone. And then I asked for help. My inner Teacher gave me insight into what I was doing -- trying to substitute something else for the Love of God.

The attributes I once associated with family are the very attributes of God that I seek, of which I am an extension. Everything that I sought from family has already been given to me by God. I now know that the Sonship is my real family. In the Sonship, no one is special. We are all equally part of one Family -- God's Family, and the Sonship lives within me. I am never apart from it or alone. There is no distance between any of us, for we share one Mind, the one Mind of God.

So for those of us seeking to return to our wholeness, let us remember: Our mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters, are all our brothers. They all live and dwell within the heart of God. They are safe, not because we watch over them and protect them, but because they are watched over and protected by God, their Father and ours. It is not our duty or obligation to bring those with whom we share a special relationship into an awareness of God. But it is our responsibility to let go of our resistance to receiving God's Love. This is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves, our loved ones, and to all those unknown to us within the Sonship that we share. So, it is not that friends are the family we choose for ourselves but rather, family is the holy relationships we allow to be given us by God.

Rev. Wenona Thomas is a Pathways of Light minister living in Indianapolis, Indiana. Email: Revwenona@pathwaysoflight.org
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My True Transponder --by Rev. Lorraine Merritt

I was speaking with my good friend, Tony, recently about the traffic flow on major highways in the US. Tony lives in Orlando, Florida. My home is in Toms River, New Jersey. Presently, I am spending time in Kiel, Wisconsin. I've been on lots of major highways in my life, traveling these wonderful states.

Tony was talking about the EZ-Pass and E-Pass lanes that have been installed at the toll booths on several highways. He, like me, has a transponder on his windshield which automatically allows him to drive right on through the toll lanes, with no obstructions in front of him to stop the flow.

Tony commented about the number of cars backed up at the booths where you have to pay cash or give a token to a collector. He wondered why anyone would sit in a lane of traffic "day in and day out," when the transponder is available to everyone.

Tony made the statement: "I compare my use of the transponder in my life to your use of A Course in Miracles in yours." I could hardly speak when I heard that. What a profound statement that was. He is absolutely right.

I travel this road I am on "day in and day out," twenty-four/seven. I cannot imagine any situation holding me captive, not allowing me to move forward along my chosen path Home. How simple it always is for me when something does crop up, seemingly out of nowhere, that looks as if it might detain me, deter me or slow down my progress along my path, to just take a breath and call upon Holy Spirit (My True Transponder) to take charge of the situation.

Knowing My True Transponder is in charge of what seems to be an obstruction in front of me removes all doubts and thoughts that my journey will be interrupted. My journey is truly never interrupted, but my perception may need a reshaping now and then. And the reshaping occurs, within minutes. And forward I go, skipping and singing with great joy and much, much gratitude.

Having the sense to use My True Transponder is truly a gift. And, obviously, so is Tony. For he's the one who brought this to my attention. And so It Is.

Rev. Lorraine Merritt is a Pathways of Light minister living in Kiel, Wisconsin. Email: reverendcookie@cs.com
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In These Moments --by Sharon Gallagher

As I journey through
the wilderness of my heart
to the land of hopes and dreams,
Divine Moments, shining with
the Light of beauty and Grace,
Open my heart and Love fills the void.

In these moments of
Divine connection and Oneness,
The truth that Love is all, and
Love is the only thing that is Real,
is finally remembered and Life
becomes Heaven on earth.

In these moments of pure ecstasy and
aliveness, all my senses are heightened
and a clear, new vision appears --
a vision co-created by the Divine within
and my Love-filled heart.

In these moments armed with Divine vision, I see all the way to the depths of my soul
to a clearing; Within this clearing the veil
of the unreal dream world falls, revealing the Divine Sleeping Beauty in waiting.

In these moments I hear the Voice of Holy Spirit whispering to me to awaken to my true Divine nature -- to the eternal, immortal Love essence I am.

In these moments, with a grateful and
devoted heart, I answer the Call
and rise again to begin the sacred
pilgrimage Home… I am free.

TOP | More Summer 2002 Articles | Miracles News Index