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Study of Text, Chapter 11, VIII.The Problem and the Answer, P 8. 12-4-15

VIII. The Problem and the Answer, P 8

Journal
Sometimes I wonder how it is that I can ask for an answer to a problem and seem not to receive an answer. Jesus says that this cannot happen, so I think it is that I am asking the wrong question or that I don’t want the answer, or maybe I have decided how the answer must come and in what form.

When I was having so much trouble seeing my co-workers with Christ Vision, I kept asking for help. I said that I wanted my mind to be healed. I asked for my mind to be healed because I understood that the problem was in my mind, not in the workplace. But I still wanted them to be different. I wanted them to change to people I could like and enjoy working with.

So you see, the hold-up in getting the answer was my confusion about what I wanted. Eventually, I was able to let go of the confusion and to simply desire a healed mind. Miraculously, I began to enjoy my co-workers. They were just the kind of people I like to work with. And of course they are. They, as I know them, are just an illusion and an illusion I called forward. When I released that illusion, I experienced them in a new way.

Here is another example. I have a friend who drinks a lot. I think that she is on the edge, teetering between being a heavy drinker and being an alcoholic. It worries me, and it also makes me uncomfortable. Having lived with and around alcoholics I know how destructive this behavior is. It also brings up unpleasant memories for me.

My prayer for this situation was that her mind be healed. Ha ha. But I really did believe that the problem was out there in her behavior. I am not ever totally insane anymore so I asked the Holy Spirit to clarify this for me. I saw that the problem I have is twofold. First I don’t want all that unhealed and unforgiven past coming up to haunt me again. It is not healed because I don’t want to forgive it.

The second part is that I see her has having a problem, as being unhealed. This may be true in the story, but in my mind there was no distinction. She was my friend the alcoholic, or something near it. I saw her as damaged and possibly on her way to ruination. So, in essence, my prayer was something like this. “God, here is your alcoholic child. Heal her.” I wanted God to agree with my assessment of my friend and then do something about it.

I imagined God smiling gently and waiting for me to ask a reasonable question so He could answer it. Eventually I did so. I asked that my mind be healed. I chose to accept the Atonement for my self, forgiving the past so that I could see the present more clearly. I asked for help to see my friend in all her beautiful glory instead of this dark image I had made. As for what I could do in the story, I asked to be given the direction and words that would be helpful should that moment ever occur.

God always answers. I must ask a clear, reasonable question and I must be willing to hear the answer.

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